It’s been snowing here in Sweden this past week. 7 years ago last week, I left Hawai’i (for the first time). My plan was to keep moving west, chasing the sunshine and the summer as I went. After living in San Francisco for 8 years I was over the cold and damp weather. I picked up my whole life and moved to Hawai’i. I LOVED Hawai’i, who wouldn’t?! But it seemed as soon as my Soul thawed out, it felt the urge to move and explore. I knew I wanted to stay warm and eat and that was the only plan I really had. Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, Australia, Bali, India, Spain, Greece, Turkey, France, Denmark, New York, San Francisco, Hawai’i, Big Sur, Los Angelos, New York, Sweden, Denmark, Spain, France, Sweden, France, Sweden, Norway, Sweden, France, Sweden, France, Spain, Sweden, Norway, Sweden… I could keep going for another few years but you probably see the pattern. For someone chasing the sunshine and summer, I sure ended up in Scandinavia a lot. And somehow never in the summer. And every time I bitched and moaned and complained about the cold, claiming loudly (and probably obnoxiously) that I was not a winter creature; MY SOUL belonged in warm weather.
Sitting in a snowbank, claiming one thing whilst my reality was clearly telling me something different.
And yet here I am again, “suffering” through yet another Swedish winter. But this time I am older, wiser, and a bit less obnoxious. As I walked through the snow-covered forest the other day I was IN LOVE. Madly, deeply, truly, and hopelessly in Love. I love everything about the winter months here. I love how the long dark days allow me to go inside and sit with myself. I love how cozy the homes are with all the lights in the windows and the smell of fires in the hearths. I adore snuggling into the couch under a blanket with a good book while it snows outside in the pitch blackness of 3pm. I love how quiet it is when it snows and how still the forest becomes. I love the sound of it snowing, it has an audio quality that is only available while it is snowing. I love how crisp the air is and how cold it makes my cheeks. As I laid atop a moss and snow-covered rock, it occurred to me just how full of shit I have been for the last 7 years. I LOVE the winter, my Soul thrives in it.
The truth is that I am dualistic, we all are. I can be 2 (or more) things at the same time. I thrive in both the freezing darkness of winter AND the bright warmth of summer. If it is below freezing or above 75F/24C. Although I could do without the middle as it is too unpredictable and I hate to carry around layers. And this idea of duality led me to contemplate the word polarity, so I came home and looked up the definitions of both words.
It was hard to find a good definition for the word polarity in the way I wanted to use it. Most spoke of the difference in north and south magnetism, which in hindsight, is quite appropriate to my present predicament. But the way it was used over and over was as an action to move or turn two things, ideas, or people away from each other. And this struck me as interesting. Duality is a state of being and polarity is the resistance to that reality. As Humans, we are dualistic in hundreds of ways. And also as Humans, we can have a bad attitude about that reality, which is just us creating conflict in and around ourselves in resistance to what is. I don’t know what it is that creates this desire in us to have everything fit into neat little organized mental boxes, but that’s a lie. Life doesn’t fit into these boxes, and neither do we. We can hold opposing beliefs, thoughts, and feelings all at the same time, it’s our superpower really and the judgment (polarity) we bring into our lives around that is our kryptonite.
The world is covered in this kryptonite right now, from the media, to the politicians, to the racial inequality. My question to you is…
Where in your life are you resisting reality; your reality, and those of others?
Where are YOU creating a problem that doesn’t need to exist?
Where are you ignoring your dualistic truths?
Where are you denying others’ experiences because they don’t fit your narrative?
How can you be less polarizing and more dualistic?
How can you be less in conflict and more in love?
I don’t know about you, but I want to live in a reality that allows for all of me, and all of everyone to be held, seen, and loved. Wishing all of you a dualistic holiday season!
Much Love- Sahara