I created this meme to go along with a quote I came up with close to the beginning of my travels, which has ended up being a recurring theme throughout the last 2 years.
A man on a flight insisted on putting my carry on in the over head compartment of the plane. When he found out how heavy it was and struggled to get it in the bin, he immediately went on the attack about how I need to be more respectful with my luggage because others might have to handle it. He also went on about how baggage rules are in place because Asians are small people and luggage can not be too heavy for them to lift…(?) Point is, I didn’t ask for help. He literally took the luggage out of my hands.
I have watched this come back over and over as a metaphor in my life and the lives around me. We pick up other people things; emotions, pain, grief and then we carry them around with us, bitching about how heavy they are. Put them down, give them back. Let other have their experiences, witness their experiences but don’t hop into the phone booth to change into your Superman outfit. Their battles are not yours, you have your own.
When I open a session with someone, my first question is “Why are you here?” So often the answer is, “For you to heal me.”
Oh Honey, I can’t fix you, but I can help you see the bigger picture so you can heal yourself. Our biggest problem as a species is our desire to fix and change others. In that process we put our own bags down to carry others. When we get too tired, we put their bags down, throw their bags at them, light it all on fire and cry, “NO ONE HELPS ME! NO ONE SEES ME! I DON”T MATTER!”
And you are absolutely right. No one helps you because YOU don’t help you. No one sees you because YOU don’t see you. You don’t matter to others because you don’t matter to YOU. It ALL starts with YOU. It isn’t about treating others the way you would want to be treated, it’s about treating yourself the way you want others to treat you. Start there and your entire world will change.